The book This Means War: Equipping Christian Families for Fostercare or Adoption was written by Cheryl Ellicot. The book deals with the spiritual warfare that comes with adoption/fostercare. The description on the back of the book: Are you prepared to adopt? Read on as experienced foster, adotive and even grandparents share stories of success, but also of struggles. Many entered adoption unprepared and were quickly overwhelmed. We wondered why our parenting methods failed. Why didn't our love heal these kids? Why were our previously happy families falling apart?
We lacked vital information about invisible disabilities; we didn't know how profoundly neglect damages an infant. We didn't know we'd signed up to be missionaries to miniature heathens-nor that a spiritual enemy opposed us. Perhaps we assumed the natural state of man, apart from negative influence or defective genes, would be an ideal person; in the Garden of Eden....maybe. We're not in the Garden anymore!
Before you adopt, pray for protection and guidance-and be sure you read This Means War!
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Since we've decided to adopt again I can attest that the enemy has been on full duty with me.
One of the comments from her book:
Satan will try to separate you from your spouse and children (by too many hours at work, too many extracurricular activities, etc.)
Never have I felt the urge so strongly to send my children away to school as I have the last few months. I have home educated for twenty-two years and I've had a day here or there like most homeschoolers, but this is different. When I read that it all makes sense. If he can separate us then we are not the cohesive unit that we have been and that we are.
Her advice: Spend time alone with your family, getting to know them. Listen to your spouse and children and share your heart with them daily.
I have never had so many home schooling mothers come up to me and make me discontent in my decision to homeschool. They are discontent and question what they're doing which makes me discontent and question what I'm doing. I am fifty afterall, shouldn't I move on to bigger and better things?!! I have been doing this for twenty-two years haven't I put in my time? haven't I proved myself already?
Her advice: Beware of ungodly counsel. When you've decided to be led by the Holy Spirit, know that Satan will send people to insist you take another path.
She does talk about natural love vs. supernatural love. It isn't natural for us to love other children the way we love children who have been born to us. No, it takes a supernatural love, one that goes above and beyond what we feel and is natural.
She states: "The only love that was missing was the "natural" love-the feeling of a bond between mother and child. Under natural circumstances, this strong emotional bond motivateds and guides the parents as they protect and raise their child. However, adoption isn't natural and these children are not as they should have been (without damage); they have extra challenges and I've been called to something higher than natural love. My lack of strong emotion actually was the natural response to this situation!"
BUT! We are called to a higher love: Colossians 3:12-13 was her motivation.
"My mission is to nuture these kids, inlcude them as part of a loving family, teach them scripture, and pray God will touch them in a powerful way and them into a relationship with Himself. Nothing else mattters.
I highly recommend this jewel of a book. If you're parenting children through adoption or foster care you've already opened your heart. Now buy your book, put your combat boots on and get ready to fight the good fight for your kids.
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