Today during a dentist visit I started reading a book I bought on Ebay a month or so ago. The book is May The Circle Be Unbroken: An Intimate Journey Into The Heart of Adoption by Lynn C. Franklin with Elizabeth Ferber. Today's reading found me involved with birth parents and their stories. There were so many riveting thoughts that I finally had to find my yellow marker so I could highlight and keep track of all I was learning.
Ms. Ferber writes on page 31: "In America you cannot vote until you are eighteen and you cannot drink unil you are twenty-one, but you can sign papers to relinquish a child at any age. It is one of the only contracts a minor can sign, and it is important for parents of a young mother to help their daughter reach her own decision. "
Further down the page: '....relatives strongly affect the adoptive decision, and a woman or young teen desperately needs her family's unconditional love and support when she is face with the overwhelming situation of trying to decide what to do. "
One thing I have told my older kids is if they should find themselves in a situation where they are or someone they are together with is pregnant, and they are not married, to please tell us. Yes, we would be disappointed. No, it won't be easy. These are things our children should not need to carry alone. Be open with your kids. Let them know you're there for them, NO MATTER WHAT. I don't want to find out after my child visited Planned Parenthood that there WAS a pregnancy, but there isn't anymore. I would be willing to raise my grandchild. I would be willing to help my son or daughter raise their child. But I need to know. I want to be in the loop. I know I fail at every level every day, but I hope that if the situation ever arose, that I would follow God's forgiveness and grace and not my own fleshly emotions.