The things people say

After church on Sunday one of the elderly ladies came to talk to me about adoption. She wanted to know why we were doing this, why didn't we adopt from the States, were we getting paid? She also told me about her grandson who has adopted in another state, and his "real" son doesn't look anything like him, but his adopted son is the spitting image of him. She explained that agencies only allow you to adopt those who look like you. I swallowed hard and said, "Well.........ours aren't going to look anything like us." She said, "Oh?" I explained, "No, in fact they're going to be of another color all together, they're from Ethiopia in Africa!" She looked like a deer in the headlights. It's that same look that people get when they ask me how far along I am, and I tell them I'm not pregnant. :-)

So to answer the questions she posed:
Why are we doing this? God has allowed us to. He has opened our hearts. We want more children, these children need parents. We wanted to invest in eternal things instead of material things. We were thinking about buying a motorhome and cruising the USA. We decided instead to invest it in children. We know the blessings that come from family and want to grow ours.

Why didn't we adopt from the states? The foster system didn't want us two years ago because of our dry seasonal creek. They wanted us to put up a six foot fence the length of our four acre property. We point blank told them that was the only thing we wouldn't do. We would go through any other hoop, but that one. Also we're older, in our late 40's, most babies would be placed with much younger parents. We also didn't want to deal with a birth mom. We've been there, done that.

Are we getting paid? Are you kidding me? I don't understand why people in the U.S. get paid to adopt. I don't get paid for my bio kids. Why should I get paid to take in adopted children? We have to pay fees for these children, and the fees aren't cheap! We have to pay for a homestudy, birth certificates, marriage certificates, immigration document fees, fingerprinting, notaries, document translations, agency fees, international fees, visa fees, passport fees, medical exams, visas, police clearance letters, and our airline travel and hotel in Addis.

Just for the record: Our adopted daughters will be our "real" daughters. No, they're not blood related, but they're ours. I'll love them, change their diapers, clean their bottoms, comfort them, love them, soothe them, wash their laundry, make sure they're dressed modestly, feed them, educate them, protect them, be up rocking them in the middle of the night, love them, and play with them. The only thing that will be different between in how I mother these two girls will be that I wasn't able to nurse them. I've had two radioactive treatment in the last two years for thyroid cancer, and the treatment did go to the breast tissue. I don't wish to activate that without a pregnancy.

In all other ways, these girls will be my "real" daughters. When you see an adoptive family. Watch your questions and your statements. Don't sound ignorant. We know you're smarter than that.