Waiting

These days I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I seem to have a million things going, but can't quite seem to stay too focused. Why? I'm paper pregnant. I'm in that time period when circumstances are out of my control. My friend Helen said pregnancy is the most vulnerable time in a women's life. You're at the complete mercy of God. You're not even guaranteed a live child at the end.


We have accepted the referral of the two girls. Our agency needs to check with the grandmother of one of the girls to see if she would allow the three year old brother to come with her. In my mind I assumed we were adopting three. We paid the fees for three. Is this God's plan though? My trivial prayers don't seem to be enough. There is nothing on my end that I can do to bring home (N) who could be our son. So I wait. I wait on the Lord. I do things within my control.


I paint rooms, I sew skirts, I clean bathrooms, do loads and loads of laundry of each day, and all those mindless things that one must do each day to keep a family of eight running. Actually I should say ten. We do have two older boys. My second son was quite miffed the other night when I was attending my eleven year old son's violin concert, and he was not able to get ahold of me by cell phone. I was instructed that I should always have it in my hand or lap on vibrate. Oh really?! I always say I don't have seven sons, I have eight husbands. Can't we add (N) and make it nine?