Monday, January 7, 2008

Meltdown

Last night I had a meltdown. Every now & then I feel so overwhelmed with schooling that I can't take it anymore, it seems to happen when I have babies in the house. I tell Steve I'm sending the kids to school, blah, blah, blah. He listens patiently. This time I broke down into tears. He tried to comfort me; it worked.

I believe Satan was telling me, "Who says YOU have to be responsible for their schooling? Don't you do everything else? Do you REALLY have to teach them too? You've done this for nineteen years, isn't that long enough?"

I realized where this was coming from and calmed down. My husband as well as I want the children educated at home. I am his help meet and as such need to follow through on what he desires. I may not be the best teacher. I may not teach everything. I certainly don't know everything. In fact, my older kids know more than I do.

I do know that God has equipped me to do what is necessary for the moment. I know that He wants me to rely on Him and not on myself. Only in realizing I can't do this can I allow Him to do it for me.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for being so honest. You have a beautiful family - you're a great inspiration to me - although I don't know I can convince my Hubby to have more than one more
    :-) Praying for you!

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  2. Interesting timing for me to read this post, Vikki. I have been feeling this exact, same way! I too, have been blaming the enemy. Have you read "When You Rise Up" by R.C.Sproul Jr.? Excellent read - I must dig it out and refresh myself.
    Kris (webboard)

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  3. What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, listen to your instincts they are GOD'S voice speaking to you, and you will always come-up with the right answer. I pay for your family every night after Listening to the Michael Savage Show (The Savage Nation)which comes on here in Detroit at 10:00pm -1:00am. The affiliate station there in San Diego is 760 AM radio KFMB(3pm-7pm tune is this guy will blow your mind with the utmost truths and facts, my son pulled our coats to this talk show Host and we just lay in bed listing, and getting educated to what's really going on in the world.

    Have a Blessed New Year, love you all

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